Unshed Tears
by RazenshiaSapphire1306
Summary: Slight AU. Kuroko Tetsuya loved him, even though he have someone else. He loved him even though he would never notice him more than as a friend. He still loved him, even though he would never love him back. And, so no matter how much it hurts and kills him, he have to move on and let go of his unrequited love plus he doesn't deserve for he is no one unlike him. GoM/Kuroko, AkaKuro.


**FANDOM:** Kuroko no Basuke

 **TITLE:** Unshed Tears

 **AUTHOR:** RazenshiaSapphire1306

 **PAIRING(S):** Everyone/Kuroko, GoM/Kuroko but eventual AkaKuro

 **GENRE(S):** Friendship, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Angst (lots), Slice-of-Life, Fluff, Humor and Romance.

 **RATING:** T (may raise up due to various reason such as the dark theme but never will be explicit)

 **SET TIME:** Teiko Arc (Flashback) but main plot time is … two years and a half passed after Winter Cup – Extra Game arc might not be included. (They are now, college students here)

 **SUMMARY:** Slight AU. Kuroko Tetsuya loved him, even though he have someone else. He loved him even though he would never notice him more than as a friend. He still loved him, even though he would never love him back… And, so no matter how much it hurts and kills him, he have to move on and let go of his unrequited love plus he doesn't deserve for he is no one unlike him. GoM/Kuroko, Eventual AkaKuro. Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Depression and Implied Self-Harm along with Eating Disorder.

 **WARNING(S):** Language, Lots of angst, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Narcolepsy, Child Abuse, Implied Self-Harm, Depression, Eating Disorder, Violence, Dark themes and Unbeta'ed!

 **NOTES:**

1) Plot holes, Slow Build, and lots of Confusion but everything will become understandable due in time.

2) Describing places, appearances and things are not my forte so I won't be giving much details about it. Just basics and plain simple, brief explanation if truly needed.

3) Story was inspired from various song list either from KnB tracks and not – Sayonara Solitaire by Saeko Chiba , Mukashi Mukashi no Kyou no Boku (To Myself From Once Upon A Time) by Hatsune Miku, Rolling Girl by Hatsune Miku, One of Repetition by Hatsune Miku, Distant Fields by Rib Underwater Yowashi-kun, Memories Within The Mirror by Kasane Teto Heart Rate [AkaKuro], Ambivalence by SCREENmode, Lantana by OLDCODEX, ZERO by Ono Kensho, Fantastic Tune by Ono Kensho, The Other Self by GRANRODEO, Memories by GRANRODEO, Catal Rhythm by OLDCODEX and Future Line by Ono Kensho.

4) Story won't focused in basketball at all. The main focus of the entire plot is bonding and how Kuroko will cope with his own issues.

5) Prompt Quote: "It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply." By David Jones

 **DISCLAIMER:** I don't own KNB except the plot of this story!

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Unsettling** **Discovery**

* * *

What is love?

What is loneliness?

What is sadness?

What is happiness?

What is pain?

He did not know the concept of those feelings, for all he was aware of is being numb.

He can't feel anything at all.

He had forgotten how to feel an emotion.

Although…

He could clearly still remember, the first time he had seen him, he knew, he was in deep trouble for the person who had caught his attention is someone beyond reach, untouchable.

Is that feeling of attraction? Love at first sight? Impossible. He was known from being emotionless, blank, blunt and impassive for everything. So how come a stranger, no, it wasn't a mere stranger had crumble his defenses? Heh. He should have expected someone like him could wormed inside his walls.

But, he was also aware – he won't be spared a second glance, nor would he be notice by the said person as he was in the bottom chain unlike him who is in the upper class of the society. He was no one, always in the shadows, invisible very different from the person he was someone, a very prominent figure and very visible yet will always be unreachable.

Why?

It is hopeless, a fruitless and forbidden love.

The person he ever loved for the very first time and last, already held someone dear to him and it wasn't him.

Heh, he was truly pathetic to continue his hopes up until now despite knowing that fact.

To fall in love especially unrequited one is very painful.

If only he knew, he will be hurt by feeling an emotion such as love. He would rather feel nothing at all. Even so, it won't change fact, he would rather be in pain instead of forgetting the wonderful and curse feeling called 'love'.

* * *

He stared at his phone with a neutral expression as he read the contents of the message.

15 missed calls from Momoi Satsuki.

36 missed calls from Kise Ryōta.

3 missed calls from Akashi Seijurō

12 messages from Kise Ryōta.

1 messages from Momoi Satsuki.

1 messages from Akashi Seijurō

He instantly deletes Kise's messages knowing it will be nothing but a mere nonsense then he choose to read first, Momoi's message before Akashi's.

[ _Hello, Tetsu-kun! It's been a while isn't it? You haven't called or email us much! We missed you! Yes, even Dai-chan missed you. He was just shy to admit it! So, how are you? Is your studies is okay? The last thing I, we heard about you is you were major in literature and you are room mates with Takao-kun in apartment which he refuses to tell where even with Midorin. Mou, you two weren't being fair~_

 _Anyways, I was just like to inform you – that, the others and I have decided to have a reunion in one of Akashi-kun's private villa. It's free! It's great isn't?! Please, you have to come! Even Midorin and Mukkun agrees without a fuss same goes with Akashi-kun who is busy with his studies and you know about dealing with his father's company. It will be a get-together of sorts. Please agree, Tetsu-kun. It's truly been too long since the last time we all have time together especially after you quit playing basketball then disappears at god knows where. So please… just this one, contact me, agree and come. We missed you so much! I don't even know if this still your phone number but Takao-kun said you haven't changed your number so… please reply, kay?_

 _-Momoi-san-]_

He hits the reply button and politely decline, Momoi's invitation then, he read next, Akashi's message.

 _[Good evening, Kuroko. How are you? I hope you're doing both well in your studies and health. Although I wish to speak with you more, I'll cut the chase – you probably decline Momoi's invitation by now. So can you tell me the reason, why? The last time you agreed was when it was your birthday then just few weeks later, we find out you quit playing basketball and transfer school at no one knowledge. We did try to contact and search you but our efforts been futile because we can't even track you, not even a single spec of evidence of your existence can be spotted. It was as if you disappear without a trace. Heh, you live truly as phantom haven't you? not living a trace where we could possibly find you? That is also one of the mysteries I wish to be solve._

 _And then, we heard from Midorima's former team mate, Takao – you are staying at his place and even he, Midorima were dating, he refuses to tell him where is his place. When we ask why, he answer plainly, 'Because of Tet-chan. Because he was there and doesn't wish to be found and I respect his wishes so stop bothering him. Please.'_

 _I can remember, his answer escalated a fight between him and Midorima. It's more likely Midorima's insecurities and some trust issues but luckily they immediately made up with a lot of coaxing of their ex-teammates._

 _So, Kuroko. I'm not forcing you to come but at least contact us so we will know whether you are doing fine. We are truly worried of you because even Takao's assurances will never enough to alleviate our fears… So, please, I beg you answer our calls and respond to our messages. I, we will truly appreciate to hear your voice once again._

 _-Akashi-kun]_

Kuroko's mouth set in a grim line as he read the messages from Momoi and Akashi.

Yes, he can understand where they are coming and the memory of the fight between Takao and Midorima is still fresh, mainly it was because of him they almost break their relationship.

Still…

The teal haired teen unknowingly clenches his fist at his lap as unwanted memories flashing under his closed eyelids.

Since he was too engrossed with his own musings, he failed to noticed someone is already behind him, watching every of his movements and expression with a sharp scrutiny.

"Oh. You should have agreed to come! I'm sure it will be a blast~" Someone muttered behind him. It was no other than Takao Kazunari, his roommate.

Kuroko didn't shown any surprise at the sudden appearance of his friend as he gotten used at his presence and weird antics. "Did they invite you as well, Takao-kun?"

Takao nodded. "Yep~"

Kuroko shut his phone off, completely ignoring Akashi's message.

"Still… Now, that you finally respond at Momoi-chan's message – they'll be able to track you down even you refuse to reply at your tyrant's former captain mail~"

Kuroko frowned lightly at Takao's statement and chided him. "Akashi-kun is not a tyrant, Takao-kun."

"Well, then if he is not a tyrant which I doubt he isn't – he is a scissors-freak then!"

"Takao-kun…" Kuroko warned. "You are started to sound like Kagami-kun."

Takao harrumphed and Kuroko was adamant to ignore him.

"Seriously, I told you call me by my name or just Kazu for short when we're alone. So why aren't you calling me that? We're best buddies and brothers aren't we?" Takao whined as he pouted at Kuroko's lack of respond. Then, his expression turned serious, losing all the mirth and amusement from both of his voice and facial expression. "So, what are you going to do now, Tet-chan? They already had cornered you and you let them which is something you should have done since the beginning for it will save the problem if you did. You need them as they need you."

Kuroko lowered his head, his bangs shadowing his entire facial expression. He didn't know how to answer that. He was confused and scared for no apparent reason but at the same time excited at knowing he would see his former friends and teammates despite he was the one who had drawn the boundaries between them. Since he doesn't know what to say, he chosen to remained silent and waited Takao to continue.

In the corner of his eyes, he watched Takao's expression softened and smiled gently albeit sadly at him. There must be a flicker of an odd emotion appeared on his face that warrant such expression from Takao and didn't pursued the matter any further and prompting the latter to change the discussion. "Hey, have you take your medicine yet?"

Kuroko nodded with a curt nod.

"Then, let's tuck you in."

Kuroko doesn't say anything at all as he let Takao guided him towards his own bed without much fuss. He feel surprisingly drained at the sudden topic of his friends and he wanted nothing more than to rest, to forget they had such conversation in the very first place.

Once they reached their destination, Takao kissed lightly Kuroko's temple as he tucked the blunette in the covers. "Remember, Tet-chan. You are no longer alone. I am here. We are here for you and we will never let any harm reach in your way again. So don't be afraid anymore, okay? Good night~"

"Alright, Good night. Kazu-kun." Kuroko replied as he closed his eyes and was out cold once he did that.

Takao stared at Kuroko's sleeping face, sadly. He brushes his face lightly and kissed his temple softly before going back to his room.

That night, Kuroko sleep without any dreams but it wasn't pleasant regardless of that he was grateful to have a dreamless sleep for once even it was uncomfortable for he was used to see things – something horrible, the twisted, horrors of his past that still haunts him both in the wakefulness and in his dreams.

* * *

"Kuroko."

Someone was shaking him and the said person is quite persistent in bothering him.

"Go away," Kuroko mumbled, his voice muffled with sleep and unfocused, while burying himself from his arms further with the obvious intent to return back in the land of the oblivion.

The persistent person who disturbs him merely chuckles at his antics but kept on shaking him lightly.

"Kuroko, you need to get up… or don't tell me you wish to remain here?"

Kuroko continues to ignore him.

Yet, the voice sounds awfully familiar. Where did he heard that voice?

Even not knowing the name of stranger, the teal haired felt safe at the persistent voice so he let himself succumbed once more back into slumber.

"Come on, Kuroko. You truly need to get up," The voice exclaimed but the amusement and mirth never leaves in his tone. "Hmm~ still doesn't want to wake up, huh? Oh."

Akashi Seijuro glanced down at the unmoving mop of teal head and chuckled once again.

The teal haired teen, he was adamant on waking up successfully returned back into unconsciousness, namely Kuroko Tetsuya.

Akashi have receive a call from a distress Kise Ryota earlier, informing him that Kuroko suddenly disappears from their meeting site and he feared the phantom sixth man is lost ad will be endangered, for the boy was a trouble magnet which is not farfetched.

So, the red haired teen instantly went to help at the search party. Temporarily, dismissing their reunion.

Yes, reunion – Satasuki Momoi arranged a reunion party for them as it been two years and half since their last gathering. Now, they were college students, graduate from their high school years.

Surprisingly, everyone agrees even Midorima Shintaro and Murasakibara Atsushi whom need a lot coaxing in such gathering accepted the invitation without much fuss.

Still, something unexpected and expected happens – Kuroko finally replies to one of their messages which surprises them as the latter refuses to made any contact from them since he quit basketball and disappears at god knows where. And he politely declined Momoi's invitation which is not shocking since his blatant refusal of meeting any of them. Even so, thanks to that they managed to track him down.

They refused to accept his answer so they form a man-hunt and dragged the poor teen out from his apartment with them but Kuroko managed to slip pass in their hands so here he was now, in the park, more likely an abandon area near the park – trying to wake up the said teen. How on earth did Kuroko ended up here? Fast asleep, that is…

There is no time thinking such things now. He needed to get Kuroko out here, fast. It's getting dark already and this place where he sleep is not very safe and comfortable place to lay down.

Without a second thought, Akashi contact Momoi, telling her and the others – he had found Kuroko and they will be back in a few minutes.

Then, the red haired carried the sleeping teen on his back and can't helped but frown at how weightless the teal haired is. He was aware that, the boy doesn't have much an appetite scratch that Kuroko have no appetite of a normal person. Is he still eating? Somehow, he highly doubts the phantom sixth man taking good care of himself for he looks much paler and he doesn't much weigh any at all now compare from the past, his condition is kind of alarming despite knowing a watchful hawk keeping eyes of him.

He will surely confront the teen once he regain his consciousness but for now, Akashi will bring him back to his apartment and have a word with his supposed roommate.

* * *

"What is this? A paper? A drop out?"

"Kurokochii… Drop out in his class? Why?"

"This…"

"Pills?"

"What for?"

"Anti-depressant and… some medicines I don't know."

"Takao! What the hell is going on! Tell me!"

"Takao Kazunari, what's going on with Kuroko?"

"You can glare at me as long as you want and threaten me but I won't tell a single thing… For it's not my story to tell. It's Tet-chan. If you want answer then ask him not me."

* * *

The second time, Kuroko opens his eyes, he was greeted a sight he was never prepared of – He was being surrounded by his former teammates and friends, and Akashi was holding one of his prescribed medicine and a piece of paper regarding his schooling.

"Now, Kuroko. I will cut the chase and you will not go out in this room unless you answer all our questions, don't bother to lie – you know I'll immediately know when you spout lies. So, tell me, Kuroko – what is the meaning of this?" Akashi gestured the things in his hands, showing the bottle of unnamed pills along with the anti-depressant and his drop out letter.

Kuroko face remained impassive but he didn't know what to answer. He was cornered and there's no way out.

* * *

 **To Be Continued…**

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Yes, first chapter is done! This fanfic has three arcs – first arc is 'Wonderland' which is now, the second is 'Shattered Dreams' and the third is 'Putting Back in Pieces'

I hope you enjoy the first chapter, you can recommend and suggest things! And feel free to ask anything just refrain spoilers or so~

Please don't forget to review or comment! Thank your for reading

 **Written:** 11/3/2016 (month/date/year)


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